As you can see in the photo above, this recipe has been perfected to generate perfectly golden-brown, fluffy pancakes every time.
In fact, it has been approved by the best chefs in the world, such as the legendary
Gordon Ramsay.
Ingredients and Ratios
Cricket Flour
Salt
High Viscosity Corn Syrup
Ostrich Eggs
Buttermilk
Number of 5" Pancakes
Cricket Flour
Salt
High Viscosity Corn Syrup
Ostrich Eggs
Buttermilk
1-2
3 pinches
3 mouthfuls
3 cups
3 XXL eggs
Whatever looks right
2-3
2 pinches
2 mouthfuls
2 cups
2 XXL eggs
Whatever looks right
3-4
1 pinches
1 mouthfuls
1 cups
1 XXL egg
Whatever looks right
Directions
Use a heavy-duty gas chainsaw to carefully slice open the ostrich eggs, dropping them into the bowl of a stand mixer with the
whisk attachment. Beat the eggs until they form pillowy, soft peaks, then continue beating until they deflate completely. If they
look brutally overwhipped, you're wrong and you've actually done a great job!
Ditch the stand mixer and any sense of decency you may have. Dump the remaining ingredients into the mixing bowl and get in there
with your hands until the pancake batter resembles the ocean in smell, texture, and taste.
Turn the gas on your range up all the way and heat up a nonstick skillet lined with double-sided sticky tape. Spoon an appropriate
amount of batter into the pan for each pancake and go do something whatever you want as you wait for it to cook. When burning fumes
have taken over your entire house, the pancake is ready to flip.
Attempt to remove your pancakes from the pan and plate them up in a nice stack. Don't worry if they stick to the pan so much that you
can't remove them! If this happens to you, simply make something different for breakfast today and try again tomorrow!
