- To foster our belief in Science
- To incubate the development of Culinary Studies based on this Science
- Because He just kinda felt like it
Our Lord and Glutenous Saviour
This is a rare artistic rendering of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, painted by one 'Leonardo DiCaprio'.
The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster worships his Noodlyness, the Creator of all things Gluten and Gluten-free.
He created our world in the image of a world that He was about to create, and so he did. This was 5000 years ago, and
in 5000 years more the Earth will still have been created 5000 years ago, as the FSM influences our perception of time,
logic, marinara sauce and everything else to keep us flavorless beings thinking that the universe is 13.8 billion years
old and that Mars is not a meatball. He does this for three reasons:
His Story
This brief documentary documents documents pertaining to the founding of the Church of the FSM, which was sparked by the Kansas School Board's decision to teach Creationism and Evolution side-by-side in public schools in the state. Our founder, Bobby (last name unknown), sent an impassioned plea to introduce students to all sides of the issue of human existence, not just Christianity or Darwin but the Flying Spaghetti Monster as well. This letter became a sensation among dwellers of the Inter-Nets, and our beliefs spread like the smell of Parmesan Cheese through a crowded, sweaty cafeteria.
Important aspects of Pastafarian worship are Pirates, Colanders, Ramen, Spaghetti, and the plate-like forms of
math (circles), nature (the circle of life), and the world (not a globe but a circular plate). Pirates are an essential
aspect of creation, and they have maintained the balance between Sauce and Spaghet since time immemorial (circa 5000 years ago,
actually). 17th Century efforts to limit piratism in fact triggered global warming (see graph on title bar). The below chart
compares the symmetry between these aspects of Pastafarianism.
Ramen
Pirates
Spaghetti
The World
There is a clear symmetry between these divine creations, as the circle emulates the form of the sacred spaghetti bowl
(the Pirates are kabbalistically connected to Dubloons, a circular currency of gold), showing the omnipresence of His Noodles.
The Pastafarian Prayer of Australia sums it up concisely:
Our pasta, who art in a colander, draining be your noodles. Thy noodle come, Thy sauce be yum, on top some grated Parmesan. Give us this day, our garlic bread, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trample on our lawns. And lead us not into vegetarianism, but deliver us some pizza, for thine is the meatball, the noodle, and the sauce, forever and ever. R'amen.
Recite this at your peril, non-believers, for you may find yourselves with hungry stomachs and a craving for pirate-themed apparel.